Shotgun Wedding

It was never supposed to be Josh Duhamel. Since the earliest stages of production — a time that predates Hustlers (2019), Covid, and the 20th Century Fox-Walt Disney Studios merger — it was always going to be Ryan Reynolds as the above-the-title talent in Shotgun Wedding. There was a time when Reynolds and a TBD female lead in a rom-com directed by Pitch Perfect (2012) helmer Jason Moore meant something in this town. (Dollar signs, that is.) Then, a lot happened in quick succession: The pandemic delayed the shoot, Disney needed to bank on Ryan Reynolds in Free Guy (2021), and the newly vacated leading role in Shotgun Wedding needed filling. Jennifer Lopez, fresh off an Oscar snub at the height of her own personal Jenaissance, easily fit the bill. So did Armie Hammer, producers thought.

Flash-forward to January 2021: Armie’s dropping out of the film (amongst … other things), shooting is slated to start in a month, Reynolds is busy finalizing the purchase of a Welsh football club, and it’s looking increasingly likely that Shotgun Wedding will end up on ice with indefinite cold feet. Then comes Josh Duhamel — not necessarily to the rescue per se, but Shotgun Wedding was saved regardless. (Or at least as saved as this cursed production could possibly be.) After numerous additional delays, a change in distribution strategy, and the loss of a screenwriting credit from Liz Meriwether somewhere along the line, Shotgun Wedding finally made its way to the small screen in the form of an Amazon Prime Video original film.

Where exactly is this exhaustive oral history going? Back to square one: It was never supposed to be Josh Duhamel in Shotgun Wedding. Alas, he tries his hardest to play the Tom to Lopez’s Darcy: a groomzilla and the daughter of a wealthy something-or-other, respectively. (The finer details surrounding their lives, their wealth, and their relationship outside of this setup don’t particularly matter, nor are they provided.) Mere minutes before their destination-wedding ceremony in the Philippines, Tom and Darcy exchange a series of verbal low blows that very well could have been scooped off the cutting-room floor of Marriage Story (2019). Meanwhile, their extended family and friends are violently taken hostage by a gang of heavily armed pirates seeking a $45 million payout from Darcy’s father (Cheech Marin). Tom and Darcy quickly realize they must set aside their relationship issues — no small feat — to save their loved ones from the dastardly marauders holding them captive.

Seen here in his first major starring role since a 2018 Taco Bell nacho-fries ad campaign, Duhamel proves — from his introductory scene, which sees him careening into the ocean with a dopey, flailing pratfall à la a Nickelodeon sitcom — that he is ill equipped to hold his own against even the most minimum-effort JLo performance. Reynolds might have abandoned his post in front of the camera, but the remnants of his grating snark can be felt in Duhamel’s strained delivery of lines obviously not written for him. To be fair, the material wouldn’t have worked out of Hammer’s mouth, either, but still: This part was not meant for this actor, a fact that is very apparent throughout. Reynolds’ trademark cynicism is far from fresh in 2023 (if it ever was) but the shtick manages to come off as even more humorless when it’s coming from someone else. Duhamel never stood a chance.

Despite how it may look on the surface, with Lopez (and a supporting Jennifer Coolidge) doing the absolute best with what they’ve been given, Shotgun Wedding is not a throwback to the feel-good romantic comedies of the 2000s. In fact, there’s hardly any real romance to be found. Though neither is significantly higher in overall quality, Marry Me (2022) is the worthier throwback JLo vehicle and Ticket to Paradise (2022) is the superior wedding-comedy two-hander. It’s not an exaggeration to say Tom and Darcy might actually hate each other. (Maybe it’s their names? 90 Day Fiancé devotees will recall a real-life Tom and Darcey as one of the most dysfunctional couples in franchise history.) Every other couple on-screen radiates a similar hatred for one another. Tom’s parents (Coolidge and Steve Coulter) are the only exception, a loving (albeit vacuous) pair who serves as one of the few highlights in the film. Aughts-era rom-coms were comforting, cozy, and charming. Shotgun Wedding checks none of these boxes, and it’s all the worse for it.